Whitney dearest, my dearest Whitney….
I want to thank you.
Thank you for showing me what it truly means to be an Autism Mom.
Thank you for writing a book that gives an account of the abuse you subjected your son to, so the whole world can see you for what you truly are.
Thank you for answering a letter I wrote to your publisher, which was not addressed to you in any way, shape or form, in which you warned me not to use the word “abuse” lightly. I never use words lightly. I think perhaps you do.
Thank you for writing a response on your blog, that I can freely quote from, as it’s a public forum. I had been nervous about sharing what you’d written to me, as I know you and your husband have threatened others who dared call you out.
To those autistic adults whom I have hurt or offended with my candor, I have only one ask ~ please read the entire book before drawing conclusions about my messages.
Thank you for having only one ask of me. The fact that actually reading your vile book will cause me untold pain and suffering seems to have escaped you. Or you simply don’t care. I actually threw up just reading some quotes from it. And I mean that quite literally.
As to the hurt feelings I unintentionally provoked, please understand that the was the very last thing I ever wanted to do, and not at all what I anticipated.
Thank you for diminishing my pain and grief to “hurt feelings”. And I’m sure you know what they say about intent. It was the last thing you ever wanted to do? My dearest, I’m sure the feelings of autistic adults never once entered your head. No wonder you never anticipated such a response from us.
my goal was to tell the uncensored truth about my own experience with Zack in the interest of helping others in pain.
Thank you for emphasising that your rubbish book is “uncensored”. I’d never have guessed that from the title. I’m sure the “others in pain” you mention are not people like me, actual autistic people. Because only non-autistic parents of autistic children can ever be in pain. And those poor parents don’t have a million other “tell it like it is, THE REAL TRUTH WARTS AND ALL” books written by them and for them. Those poor, poor parents.
I am not speaking for other parents, nor for other persons with Autism, nor for Zack himself. Nor could I. My goal, first and foremost, was to speak to other parents, caregivers and siblings of persons with Autism
Thank you for not speaking FOR other parents. You are speaking TO them. Giving them lovely advice and insights into how they too can abuse their autistic children.
Thank you for not speaking for “other persons with Autism”. Your use of the word “other” confuses me. Do you mean to imply that you at autistic, as in other than yourself, or do you mean other than your son?
Thank you for naming your son, btw. Because of course autistic people should never be allowed to be anonymous. Especially when intimate details of their daily lives, and medical information, are involved.
Thank you for acknowledging that autistic people are not your target audience. Unless we are parents, caregivers or siblings to other autistics I suppose.
Thank you for using the words “persons with Autism”. Because how else would I ever remember I was a person? Oh, wait, I’m not a “person with Autism” and neither are most autistic people. So I guess we don’t exist. Only those who prefer person-first language exist. Silly me.
I never laid a hostile hand on my son, nor said a cruel or disparaging remark to him.
Thank you for redefining what is meant by the word “hostile”. And thank you for not saying those remarks TO him, but instead ABOUT him, TO whoever buys your book.
I did use a protective hold
Thank you for also redefining what is meant by a “protective hold”. As I’m pretty sure what I read does not normally come under that description.
his phobias of unknown indoor spaces
Thank you for being sure that his problem with indoor spaces were “phobias” and not, you know, rational fears caused by sensory pain or discomfort. I too suffer from phobias, as well as having sensory issues, so I’m glad you’re not just bandying that word around without fully being aware of the difference between the two.
I understand that my unguarded description of the emotional pain I felt along the journey is searing for many adults with Autism to read, and in this respect I’m afraid I honestly cannot help.
Thank you for understanding….um, no. I don’t think you do understand at all. And you honestly CAN help. It’s not too late to pull the book.
you in no way resemble Zack.
Thank you for knowing every detail of our lives, our struggles, our achievements against the odds, to know that we “in no way” resemble your son. Except, you know, sharing his neurology.
You personify independence,
Thank you for your kind words. As I sit here in bed unable to get up, get dressed, brush my teeth, even eat, unless reminded to do so by other people or various props.
I know that the words I use to express my anguish can be excruciating and frustrating for you to hear, but an honest account of my own experience demands that I reveal them.
Thank you for being so sure that it is you expressing your anguish, and not the accounts of physical and mental cruelty so write about, that are “excruciating and frustrating”. Not the words I would have chosen myself. Those would have been closer to “horrifying and triggering of extreme pain”. And thank you for yet another “honest account” of someone who doesn’t care, or even notice, that their words can hurt others so much.
But I cannot spare you the pain of hearing my words while also speaking to others who might desperately need them in forging the way to their own reconciliation with the challenges they face.
Thank you for admitting that you cannot do what others, who write respectfully about their autistic children, and are mostly autistic themselves, have done and continue to do.
to all those with Autism and other disabilities, I am on your side, I am listening to your voice.
Thank you for being on the side of these mysterious persons “with Autism”. Pity you can’t also be on the side of, and listen to the voice of, autistics like me.