Coming out…in quadruplicate. Or…it’s complicated. 

So, I’m my previous post, I “came out” as non-binary (and genderfluid), bisexual and aromantic. But, there is one more part of the equation that I feel I need to talk about. I am also trans. Sometimes. 

This is where it gets complicated. And a lot of the complication stems from different definitions people have of what exactly is meant by “trans”. 

I used to think I was cisgender. I thought that transgender meant I *had* to have gender dysphoria. And seeing as I don’t, and as I have no desire to transition physically, then I could not be transgender. Right? Wrong. 

I reached out to binary transgender activists. Mostly trans women. And every single one of them told me that I was wrong. They explained that I didn’t have to have gender dysphoria. That I simply had to have a gender different to the one assigned to me by doctors/parents/society when I was born. And that, since nobody is assigned ‘non-binary’ at birth, I could be trans if I felt it fit. But, equally, I did not *have* to identify as trans. That it was up to me, and that they certainly were not about to exclude me from identifying as trans. 

And as I delved more into it, I found a lot of others like me. Non-binary folk who ID as trans. But, equally, a lot of enbies ID as cis. And there are those who ID as neither. And all these opinions are equally valid, as they are up to the individual choice of those involved. 

It gets a bit more complicated for me, personally though. Being genderfluid means that sometimes my gender is female. And as that’s the gender I was assigned at birth…that makes me cis during those times, I guess? Not so much an issue these days as my ‘female episodes’, for want of a better term, rarely happen now. But, yeah, complicated. 

Another factor in why I don’t proclaim my being trans more loudly is… I don’t want to take attention away from transgender people who face oppression and danger due to their being trans. I want to make sure they are centred in any discussions, not me. I don’t believe it’s my place to speak on trans issues. 

And so, yeah I’m trans. But, it’s complicated. As most things about gender are, I’m finding out. 

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