This post is about two people close to my heart. I’ve known them both their whole lives, though I haven’t seen either of them in months. We do text each other regularly though. And one of them has just lied to me about the other. And I can’t quite tell which one is lying. Even though I have a gut feeling about it, I cannot be certain.
And my whole world is crumbling. I never thought either of them would ever lie to me. I was certain of that. And now I cannot be certain of anything about either of them ever again. I trusted them. And now I cannot trust either of them in the same way.
I’m not sure I can trust my gut feeling.
And that has upset me beyond belief. If I can’t trust my gut, what can I trust. I mean, I trust it 90% but that last 10% is driving me insane.
I don’t want to fall out with either of them. I don’t want to have to chose between them. I love them both dearly.
I’m hoping this whole thing is just one big misunderstanding. That one of them is mis-remembering what happened. That I can get past this.
But right now, I’m grieving. I’m lost. I’m obsessing on it. I’m devastated.
I’m going to go with my gut right now. And really really hope it’s not wrong.