Note: I seem to use Autism Moms more often than Autism Mums. Not because I’m American, but because autocorrect seems to assume I am. If I were to use the correct wording for Ireland, I’d have to go with Autism Mammies!
I got a comment about yesterday’s post saying that actually they like the term Autism Mum/Mom. That the mothers who use this are just using it to find others in the same situation as themselves, and that they are very different to the Autism Warrior Mom types that exist online.
I’m sorry but I disagree. The mothers I’m talking about don’t just exist online. They may or may not use the term “warrior” to describe themselves, but they are coming from the same place. I have met these moms “in the flesh”, so I’m not basing my thoughts only on the most “vocal” online ones. They have told me how embarrassed they are by their children, and have asked my opinion on various treatments touted as “cures”.
I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt to mothers of newly-diagnosed autistic children. They may be taking their very first steps on the journey to accepting autistic people. But I still feel that anyone who hears autistic people object to the term Autism Mom, and still continues to use the term, has a very very long way to go. And I’m not going to accept any of these #NotAllAutismMoms arguments.
If they want to find others in the same situations as themselves, there are other terms they can use, like I suggested before, such as Mothers of Autistics. Doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily, but at least it’s not offensive. And anyone who is not willing to change the language they use when it’s shown to be problematic, is probably not the most accepting person.
We can all be more mindful of the words we use. So, if you insist on sticking to the label of Autism Mom, then you need to be aware that I and others like me will be very wary of you, and yes we will judge you. If you don’t want to be thought of as one of those Autism Moms, then please stop using the term.