Food is Life.

I’ve noticed that most of my anxiety around the coronavirus centres around food. My mother would claim it harks back to The Great Irish Famine but I personally think it’s because as a child we never had much money and went through periods where we had to make do with less food than was ideal. I won’t say we went hungry or ever actually starved. But we did experience food insecurity and ate very frugally. And if mom did ever have spare cash, she would splash out on nicer food. So, for me, not having access to food causes intense anxiety.

Knowing this, I did stash extra rice and beans and lentils etc in the attic. And the fridge and freezer are pretty full. But the anxiety remains. Not for illogical reasons though. But because my kids are “picky eaters” and although they are trying their best right now, they still struggle to eat a lot of foods.

My main anxiety right now though is getting the food, assuming it is available (so much stuff is sold out) into the house. I cannot go out to the supermarket even in a non-covid world as I faint in queues. And we don’t want to leave the house and face being coughed on by ignorant strangers, no matter what precautions the shops have put in place. Literally the only time I leave the house is to go to the pharmacy once a month. I’m not risking my life for the sake of a few groceries.

And so I rely on grocery deliveries. I’ve been getting Tesco deliveries for 13 years now. And these days I book well in advance. Or rather, I try to. The next delivery I have isn’t until April 10th though. And then after that… there isn’t actually a single slot available. I won’t be able to relax until I know I can get a delivery once every week or so at the least.

I have an account with Supervalu as well. The only other supermarket hereabouts that does online ordering. But there’s something wrong with the website and it’s not allowing me to log in. And they’re not accepting new online accounts so it’s not like I can just start over.

There are one or two other shops that allow you to phone in an order which they’ll deliver. But they don’t stock the brands the kids like, they’re more specialist delicatessen type shops.

So my anxiety has ratcheted up a notch.

I find myself compulsively baking and cooking and prepping. It calms me down but it’s not ideal as it’s not something I can or should do 24/7. But at least it stretches out the food we do have.

We have also sown vegetable seeds such as lettuce and spinach. Pity there’s not more food value, calorie wise, in them. We’ve also planted some potatoes and plan to expand this once we locate some more compost.

Another food related anxiety I have right now is food waste. Nothing is getting thrown out unless it’s certain to give us food poisoning. Which is leading to some quite unusual dishes made of leftovers. I guess this allows my creativity to shine?

At least I’m saving money too. Trying to end this post on a positive!


  1. Oh I’m so sorry. This is such a nightmare for you. I really hope it works out somehow. I’ve managed to get a ASDA delivery in 2 weeks then it’s blank. Son won’t leave our safe area and I can’t afford to get sick for him. Can we just ditch this year and move onto 2021. Look after yourself.


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