March 11th is my birthday. I’ve already warned my family that I’m going to spend the whole day doing whatever the hell I want and that there’s to be no demands whatever made on me. Which really translates to “A Whole Day Unmasked”. Can I pull it off? If I can, what will it look like?
Maybe I’ll spend the day in bed. Being brought food and drinks. Only getting up to go to the toilet.
Maybe a day in bed reading. Hyper-focusing on a book and being oblivious of anything outside of it.
Maybe a day in bed, reading, and not speaking a single word to anyone. Texting if I need anything.
If I do get up, maybe I’ll have a bath. Stay in it till the water goes cold. And splash it all over the place and flood the bathroom while laughing loudly.
Maybe I’ll spin around in circles and scream loudly. I used to love doing that as a child.
Maybe I’ll eat dinner on the floor. Maybe I’ll eat cake for dinner and nothing else. Or eat fish with my fingers. At midnight.
The last time I did anything remotely resembling any of that, I was living in my own in Japan and mostly did what I wanted at weekends. That was twenty years ago.
It way past time for me to have a day to myself. A whole day being authentically autistic. Of putting down the mask. Fingers crossed it happens!